Time

I probably owe some of you an apology.   I went back through my blog, and I made public much of my old poetry.  Some of it is good, some is not, but although all of it is old, apparently my blog emailed each piece as a new post.  I suppose that everything old is new.

I graduated.  My hope is that I will now have time to devote to writing again, which prompted this excessive in the first place.

The webpage history is split into 4 basic parts.

• My original website, which had some writing on it, but no room for response,
• The LiveJournal days, which had some good writing and some real and meaningful responses from a few good friends,
• The Facebook days, which has a lot of posts shared with a lot of people, taking a lot of time, but ultimately having the depth and breadth of a mud puddle,
• This page, which we have yet to develop.

Essentially all of my poetry comes from the first two parts.  While a quick reading of the poems would suggest that I wrote only when I was feeling depressed, it was actually rather the opposite.  When I was feeling pretty good, I was feeling creative.  Many of the songs I wrote were actually written or fleshed out at Hostfest, written during breaks from performing as a troll, or on the trip back when my head was still buzzing with excitement and a desire to create.  I just found it easy to write about feeling depressed because it is an easier subject to find a models in art to draw inspiration from.

That desire to create has never gone away.  The difference is that I actually used to give myself the time to do so.  LiveJournal as a format encouraged spending time on posts, and the posts were worth reading.  As I migrated to Facebook, I found myself spending less time on posts, and then wondering why I only got so many likes.  Instead of responding to friends posts, I simply liked them and moved on.  I got in that same habit in real life.  I would walk the dogs, take time and think, and come up with something worth developing.  I would then get home, fire up the computer, and … fill my head with other headlines, other ideas, and all manner of things that would choke the life out of any ideas I could have been developing.

About a year ago, I walked away from Facebook, but I still did not give myself time to create.  The idea of growing ideas itself withered on the vine as I looked to other priorities.  So, I have made public some of my old writings as a reminder to myself of what I want to improve and develop.  The “Songs” tag has a list of much of that work.  Some of it good, some of it not, all of which comes to a conspicuous end as I became more addicted to Facebook.  So, hopefully this will complete my return to the creativity of that time, when I knew the difference, as Kelz so beautifully put it, between being mindFULL and being mindful